


Always Darkest Before The Dawn

by originallyDecended



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gamzee is dead, Highschool AU, I just wanted to make a story-, M/M, Popular - Unpopular labels, Sadstuck but also happystuck-?, Trolls/Humans on earth-
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/originallyDecended/pseuds/originallyDecended
Summary: Basically Gamzee killed literally everyone and then they all said 'respawn' in another timeline with no memory of him which he thought that it would be better that way. Sadly though, Tavros and Gamzee were matesprits before the incident and Tavros is getting slight memories of what happened between him and Gamzee without any knowledge of who exactly Gam was. So... yeah.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Gamzee Makara/Tavros Nitram, John Egbert/Dirk Strider, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Terezi Pyrope/Vriska Serket
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yo. So this is my first ever story on this platform so yeah.. inexperienced. not sure how to do things. e.

> Tavros: Wake up.

And you do almost immediately. You don't remember what you dreamt about, nor do you think you want to know with the way that you are sweating and panting. 

You look around your room. Your posters line your walls just as you've left them, your desk still has your books scattered about, and the rest of the room is clean.

But your door is open.

"Only serial killers sleep with their doors open..." 

You're not a serial killer. You don't  _ think _ you are, you mean. Maybe you could be. But you know that you surely didn't leave that door open before dozing off. 

_ Could have been Tinkerbull.  _ You think to yourself. 

You sigh and then look at your desktop, sitting just a few feet away on your desk. It had faded to the idle screen, the time in the upper right corner.  _ It's two in the fucking morning.  _

You stand up, turn off your desktop, and then go over and close the door. You have school in less than six hours.

You go back and sit on your bed, running a hand through your hair. This is  _ far _ from the first time something like this has occurred. It's annoying, but you've gotten used to it. You've begun throwing in rational explanations as to why you wake up to your window open, knowing all too well that you never open your window. A rational explanation as to why you will regularly wake up to your closet door slowly closing itself and be far too afraid to go over and check it, just blaming it on the wind.

You know it can't be the wind.

Because you never open your window.

You go back to sleep after an hour or so of trying.

==> fast-forward about six and a half hours into the future. 

"Jeez, Tavvy, you really are delusional," Nepeta tells you.

"Do I actually sound delusional? Like for real?" You ask, mostly to yourself.

"Yes. For real. You sound insane. And you have sounded insane from the moment you opened your mouth about it in the first place. There is  _ no _ way someone is watching you. If you lock your windows, close your doors, and all that stuff, you're fine!"

"Or it could be a ghost." Vriska cuts in.

"That would be terrifying. And it's highly unlikely that if it were a ghost, it would haunt Tavros fucking Nitram. He's an angel." Karkat assures.

"More the reason," Vriska says.

"Jesus. Shut up, Vris. You're gonna make him scared and then he's gonna come to me and ask to sleep at my house and-"

" _ AND _ you will let him because you're a good friend." Nepeta cuts Karkat off, sipping her coffee.

" _ Or _ I won't because I have a boyfriend that already asks to sleep over literally every night."

"Dave can go suck a dick. Tavros was your friend first, ya know?"

Karkat groans in exasperation.

Vriska cackles and then rolls her eyes. "If all goes wrong, my door is always open."

" _ Serial Killer. _ " Nepeta, Karkat, John, and I all say at once. That causes Dave to snort and Dirk to rolls his eyes with a chuckle.

"Okay, but John sleeps with his window open so-!"

"Perhaps, but I also sleep with Dirk every night so I have a protector."

"Dammit-"

"Why  _ does _ John sleep with his window open?" You ask, raising an eyebrow slightly.

"Because  _ Derrick _ doesn't know how to open a door but he can climb through a window," John explains.

"I  _ do _ know how to open a door." Dirk defends.

"Silence, off-brand Romeo," John says.

The group laughs at that, to which you chuckle softly. You're not really the 'LOL' type...

"Anyway, back to the ghost haunting. I think you should go to see a clairvoyant." Nepeta says.

"Where would I find a psychic?" You ask.

"Mmm... My sister's boyfriend is psychic." She replies.

"Kurloz? Makara? He's a nutcase." Dave says.

"Yeah, but he's also kinda cool. Just a little off-putting?"

"A  _ little _ ?" Dave asks.

"Okay. A  _ lot _ . But he's not the worst. Stop by my place after school, Tav. I'll see if he's able to do a reading."

"Uh... okay..." You're not really in the right space to reject it. And you really do want to figure out what's going on. So if this is how you do that, that's fine. You can deal with it.

"Bell rings in three. It's guessing time." Nepeta says with a grin.

"You'll never get it," Dave says, rolling his eyes. You can still see them slightly behind his stupid 'cool kid' shades.

"Well, we have 'E'. So that's close enough. Edwards?"

"No."

"Emelia?"

"No."

"Give me another letter!"

"No?"

"Does Karkat know?"

Dave's eyes flick to Karkat. "... No...?"

"No," Karkat confirms.

"No," Dave repeats.

"The Striders middle name's... The world's hardest puzzle." Nepeta says.

You smile to yourself softly. Something hits you suddenly and you feel as though it's going to be... a long day. You space out for a little bit until the bell rings and you get up, still spaced. Your brain has turned on to auto-pilot.

Here's to Highschool being shitty.

Here's to being haunted by a ghost.

And here's to having to meet up with your best friends sisters nutty ass boyfriend later...

Yes. It's going to be a  _ long _ day.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna try to update this as much as possible. If I slip up and write 'I' over 'You', I'm sorry! I'm trying out a new writing style so I may mess up every once in a while.  
> Also, feel free to leave comments on anything you may want to see me do in the future, I'd be happy to maybe look over requests.

"So let me get this straight... Tavros is being haunted by a ghost that crawls through windows, opens doors, hides in closets and under beds... If it were a ghost..."  
'It would have no reason to hide or go through exits and/or entrances.' Kurloz signs, finishing Meulin's statement.  
Nepeta lets out a dramatic groan and narrows her eyes. "Maybe it's opening things to haunt him. We said to haunt."  
'Then it is not a ghost. It is a poltergeist. Learn your motherfucking demon terminology, my sister.'  
Nepeta looks at you with a face that clearly reads we are getting absolutely nowhere.   
You simply respond with a shrug.  
Kurloz then gives me a soft, stitched smile. 'So, a poltergeist. Is this energy good or bad?' He signs to us.  
You have to think about that for a moment, unsure exactly how to respond. "Well... It doesn't bother me directly. I've had no... say... bad physical interactions with it. Yes, it does leave my doors and stuff open, but it hasn't shown any signs of wanting to hurt me. It's unsettling, but that is to be expected of a spirit wandering my house." You sign and speak so that Meulin knows what you're saying. You don't want her feeling left out of the conversation.  
Kurloz just nods along, expression unreadable. You can't help but feel as though he knows something that you don't.  
"It sets off... okay vibes. It's almost like I know them personally. But for some reason they aren't... a friend." You continue. "Good, but not too good. Bad, but not horrible."  
His poker face melts away into a flash of concern, that very quickly turns into false confusion. He's hiding something. He doesn't say anything though, facade not falling. You know that he knows. But what isn't he telling you? Why isn't he telling you?  
"So... it is... bad," Meulin says.  
"I guess that would be an okay way of saying what it is, but as I said, it isn't entirely bad." You reply, almost hesitant with the answer.  
"Have you seen it?"  
"Seen it?" You repeat, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.  
"Yes. Seen it. Have you seen the ghost- or- poltergeist?"  
"Um... maybe. Maybe once. I think it was just-"  
"Really!?" She cuts you off.  
"I was gonna say that I-"  
"What does it look like?!"  
"Wh- I- A guy-? I shouldn't say that, then that's assuming, I'm sorry poltergeist-"  
"Why don't you draw it?!"  
"Meulin, please, you're scaring him." Nepeta swoops into your rescue.  
You sigh in relief. "Thanks, Nep..." You whisper.  
Kurloz's eyes narrow into a sort of glare toward Nepeta. It's odd, being as she didn't do anything to deserve it.  
But then a sudden chill runs down your spine. You shiver instinctively, causing the others to look at you in confusion.  
'Is something wrong?' Kurloz asks you.  
"Uh... no... no. I'm fine. Just a weird feeling... I feel like... it's here..."  
"The ghost?"  
"Poltergeist!" Meulin corrects.  
"Yeah. I think so. I could be wrong."  
"Maybe he- er- They had been here the whole time," Nepeta suggests. "Maybe they're watching you."  
'Let's not scare him, Nepeta.'  
"No, for real! Maybe it isn't a bad entity at all! It could be a guardian angel! That could be why it hasn't actually bothered you upfront! It could be watching you to make sure you don't do anything dumb and you like... follow some sort of prophecy or some shit."  
"That sounds crazy."  
"We all sound crazy talking about a poltergeist in the first place."  
'We switched from the supernatural to religion.' Kurloz informs with a slow shake of his head.  
"Okay, right. Sorry." Nepeta sighs.  
The chill returns, again, making you shiver.  
"Again?"  
You nod slightly and then run a hand through your hair. You begin to feel dizzy this time. Unsure exactly what's happening, your first reaction is panic.  
But you don't. Because for some reason, you can't move.  
And for some reason, you realize that you've blacked out...  
And for some reason... You begin to hear some things.

> Tavros: Remember.

Everything is black. You feel as though you are sitting with your eyes closed, yet you also feel like they are open. There's something warm next to you, breathing softly. Every breath was a soft rise and fall of your own body.  
"You okay?" A scratchy, deep voice asks you. It's the person next to you, no doubt.  
"Yeah, I'm fine." Someone else says. That person sounds a lot like you. And your mouth was moving, throat vibrating, but you didn't say that. Did you? You didn't mean to say that. No, you didn't, that wasn't you. It was someone else controlling you. It had to be. Right?  
The deep voice chuckles. "Alright. Just kinda quiet is all."  
You feel yourself nod.  
You feel an arm snake its way around your waist, and then suddenly... you feel safe. You feel happy, safe, and... at home.  
This feels familiar.  
"I love you, Tav." The voice says softly, a whisper against your ear.  
"Love you too, Gamzee."  
Gamzee.  
"Who the hell is Gamzee?" You ask, suddenly in control again. You can see now. You're back in Nepeta's room. Everyone is looking at you as though you had just died and come back to life suddenly.  
"What?" Nepeta asks, voice high-pitched and squeaky. She sounds irritated.  
"Gamzee-" You sign as you say it, as you hadn't said it in sign language the first time. "-who is it? Have you heard it before?"  
"Who-? What-? Tavros, what the fuckity mcfuckfuck are you on?" Nepeta's eyes narrow.  
"I-... Gamzee. That's all I know. It felt like... It felt like a memory. That's what it was. I think...?" You glance at Kurloz, who is wide-eyed and staring at you. But once he realizes that you are looking at him, his poker face throws itself back into play.   
You can't help but glare at him. But you don't say anything.

==> fast forward.

> Tavros: Wake up.

You wake up again, shivering. Your room is freezing. You look over to your window, which is now open. It's three in the morning and around 45°F.  
"Again...? You couldn't maybe... uh... close it? We said you were okay, and now here you are, trying to turn me into a Nitramsicle." You mumble to yourself as you go to close the window. You succeed hands shaking as you shiver. You hate winter with a burning passion.  
"There. I oughtta install some cameras. Catch you in the act. Then, when I freeze to death, you'll at least go to prison for.. oh.. I don't know... murder?" You whisper softly, shuddering from the cold.  
Wait... Install cameras... That's an amazing idea!  
"... I... am gonna catch you on film." You say to whatever entity that is inhabiting your room, a soft smile on your face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again, fellas. Chapter 3. I hope you guys enjoy it. Again, feel free to comment anything you want to see in the future or anything else you want! I'm happy to read through.

> Gamzee: Take Over.

"Okay, here we go then. I hope you find what you need or whatever." His brother says with a shrug. "What was it again?"

_ A ghost...? _

"It's a long story, just forget it."

"Alright, bro. Imma just go hang with Horuss. You stay safe. Summoner will be home in an hour."

"You are literally a year older than me." He responds, rolling his eyes.

"Still, older. I'm responsible for you."

"I'm the mature one."

"Shut the F up, Tav. Be good." You watch as he ruffles Tavros's hair and leaves the room.

Tav holds his breath for a moment before letting it out and closing his door with a gentle kick.

He flops down on his bed and pulls out his phone, texting who you can only guess is Nepeta.

You stand in the corner and watch. Yes, it's creepy. And yes, you are 100% aware of this. But you need to make sure he's safe. Maybe letting him nearly freeze to death at night and having his friends pick on him the way that they do is not the best way to do that, but you need him to know that you're there.

Now you can't do much of anything as he's grown half a brain and now has cameras installed in his room.

He sleeps with his door closed and his windows locked, and now that you are in here, if you opened the door to leave or went through the window, you'd be caught completely.

That isn't what you need. 

Tonight will be quite boring.

Unless...

You may be able to slip out when Summoner steps in to check on him before bed. But if you do that, you wouldn't be able to do your 3 am check.

You'll have to either hope Summoner leaves the door open or stay here all night. You do have other people to check on though. 

Karkat has been having trouble with Dave lately, so you need to get to him.

_ Tavros or Karkat? Tavros or Karkat? Tavros or Karkat? Tavros or-- _

"You just gonna stay in one place or what? You're really bad at this whole haunting thing. I mean, you can throw a book or two. Make the lights flicker. Do something. Or are you just  _ that _ lazy?"

You frown at that.  _ Stop talking to me. You're making me uncomfortable. _

You don't do anything else for the rest of the day.

==> fast forward

He sleeps the entire night. You didn't open anything. You instead decided to just sit in the corner and watch him.  _ I'm a fucking creep. _

If the old Tavros knew that you were just sitting in his corner, watching him sleep? That's an automatic break-up handed to you on a silver fucking platter with all of the decorative sides. An entire five-course meal of 'You're a creep, it's over.'

But lucky for you, this isn't the old Tavros.

And lucky for you, he doesn't know who you are.

Unlucky for you, though, is that he's finding out.

Oddly enough, when you created this universe by sifting through what you wanted and didn't want for your friends and family, etc. as it goes, sacrificing yourself to paradox space and allowing all humans and trolls to live in harmony like some  _ My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic _ type shit, you came to realize that a lot of people changed. For one thing, Karkat is a lot calmer. In a sense. Of course, nobody can take away his yelling nature, or else he just isn't Karkat. But he shows his care for his friends now instead of throwing everybody over his shoulder with insults and curses. Another thing is that the Sollux, Eridan, and Feferi triangle poofed out of existence. Sollux and Eridan are matesprits now, which was a  _ massive _ 'fuck you' right to Fef's face. The most hilarious thing about it is how well the two fit together. They don't argue as you'd expect. In fact, they're the perfect couple. What isn't so funny is the fact that all three of them don't even know the triangle existed.

So it's only entertaining for you.

But it's entertaining nonetheless.

Another notable change is Tavros's attitude. What used to be a timid, quiet boy is now one of the popular kids.

He's made a lot of friends, he gets along with Vriska, and everything falls into place for him.

Problem?

He's not who you fell in love with. But you do love him, still.

So here you are, 17 by earth years, watching your matesprit-- er... Ex-matesprit...-- to be sure he stays safe. 

Again, though, it isn't only him. Just mostly him. He's who you go to when you are done checking on Karkat, which takes five minutes at most. So the other 23 hours and 55 minutes out of the day is spent on Tavros.

Okay, it's only him.

Karkat was your moirail before what happened, and when you remade him, you knew he wouldn't be the same. You made sure he had who he wanted. He's... moved on. He's doing just fine without him. He has a new moirail and a matesprit, and they keep him on his feet. Kanaya makes sure he stays humble, Dave takes a lot of anger out of him. They're all he needs.

He doesn't need you.

But you make sure he's okay, anyway.

Tavros, on the other hand, despite him being able to make anyone his friend, has empty quadrants. He doesn't want a moirail, thinking it's overrated and choosing favorites and he keeps his matesprit quadrant empty because... He doesn't know.

He has no idea why he does. He doesn't seem to want to know either. he just goes on, leaving everything as he sees fit. 

You know why he leaves it empty.

You know that it was a bad move on your part.

It's because of your jealousy. Even if you'll never have him again, you don't want anyone else to take him. And every time you think about it, you know it's not okay and that you should let him go on normally. But at the same time, you think it was the smartest thing in the world. When you made Tavros, you were sure to block off his want for a matesprit, not that the old Tav really ever went out to find one, but you wanted to be safe. 

You're safe and he's yours.

You watch him wake up and smile to yourself.

He's yours.


End file.
